Sunday, 11 March 2012

Another anniversary looms

In two and a half months, it will be the third anniversary of Al’s death. Right now, I feel differently about it than I did as I approached the last two anniversaries. I guess I now know that so few will notice, and even fewer will acknowledge it. Maybe a part of me is starting to be able to accept that. I don’t think I’ll ever be OK with it or see it as reasonable – but I’m no longer shocked by it. Saddened and resentful, yes – shocked, no.

I feel calmer. Whether it will last as the day approaches has yet to be seen but I definitely don’t feel as panicked or have the same sense of trepidation. Maybe I’ll manage to get my act together and order the Birds of Paradise in time rather than burying my head in the sand and then dashing round at the last moment.

1 comment:

  1. I just found your blog today. My 23 year old son was killed 10 weeks ago. I'm still in a state of shock and constant pain.
    I've been gathering blogs and websites by and for bereaved parents together into one site
    I've added your blog so that I can follow your writings.